Supporting Gay Marriage Equals Supporting Freedom for us ALL

I woke up early today with the ideas for this blog post swimming around my still half sleepy brain. I was not ready to wake up but once my mind was churning I knew the only antidote was to come and put the thoughts down properly.

I was thinking about reasons Conservative Christians give for being against gay marriage and why they should, at the very least, stop actively opposing it even if they don't approve of the concept.

1. To be tolerant of gay marriage supports freedom for us all.
If you want to be able to be free within your own life to choose to do things that you believe in and support things that don't fit into others beliefs of what others find moral, you have no business fighting against gay marriage. To support your neighbors right to live his life without outside interference is supporting the same right for yourself.

2. It goes along with The Golden Rule.
If you would not want those who disagree with your choices to legislate them for you, you should not try to legislate choices for those who make choices you disagree with. How does it go along with The Golden Rule to say "I don't want people who disagree with my choices to be able to deprive me of my freedom to make them, but I should have the right to deprive other people from making choices I do not approve of"?

3. Nobody will be forced to personally approve of gay marriage itself.
So this is one I hear "But if I don't oppose legislation for gay marriage it will look like I approve of it!". Or "People will be forced into accepting it/preforming marriages they disprove of" I say BALDERDASH! First of all, there is all sorts of immoral sexual things that heterosexuals engage in and I don't hear ANYONE trying to ban heterosexual marriage because of this. Nobody says "Let's make a constitutional ban against people who live together getting married!" Nobody says "Ban marriage between two divorced people!" Nobody says "Let's make sure that none of the heterosexuals marrying engage in anal or oral sex!". And lets face it, many straight people engage in exactly the same sex acts as homosexuals, anal, oral, frotting and etc, just they have an opposite sex partner. Many of them do this within their marriages!! But nobody has a problem with that or, more specifically, they feel if they DO have a problem with it that it's none of their business to stick their nose in their neighbors lives and bedrooms........... unless their neighbors are two men or two women. And additionally no pastor or priest or clergy of any kind is ever obligated to marry anyone. Just as it is today, a pastor can put whatever requirements they want on those they are marrying. If they want to require those getting married to go to premarital counseling, that's their prerogative. If they don't want to marry interfaith couples that is their choice. If they don't want to marry couples not of their specific denomination that is also their right. If they don't want to marry people who have been living together already or who have previous divorces they have the right to deny their services to those people. If they don't want to marry interracial couples, there is nothing that forces them to solemnize those vows. They could opt to only marry those couples who are regular attendee's of the church they lead and there is nothing that would force them to do any differently. This will not change if gay marriage becomes legal. That is important enough I'm going to say it again with emphisis this will not change if gay marriage becomes legal. Your pastor will still be able to pick and choose whose marriages they preside over and nobody will be able to force them to solemnize vows they don't approve of.

4. But Tadpole, Marriage is between one man and one woman!
The thing is that marriage as it exists today is a relatively recent development. You don't have to go back too far before you get to a place where marriage was very different. Where marriages between people of different faiths, or different races, or different social classes were looked upon as immoral just as gay marriage is looked on as immoral by many today. Where instead of saying "Marriage is only between one man and one woman" it was more like "Marriage is only between one man and one woman of the same race, faith and class!!!" And remarriages? Forget it unless your spouse died on you. Also for centuries, women didn't have any real say in who they married at all. A fourteen year old girl might wake up to find her father promised her hand to their 35 year old neighbor. Then there was a time and place where a man could legally rape his wife and where he could legally beat her if she vexed him. There was a time, not long ago, that a woman had no legal standing apart from her husband. That is what marriage has been historically. But just because it was what it was did not stop it from changing. It is as wrong to keep marriage for heterosexual couples only as it was to keep voting for white males only. The institution of marriage has changed drastically through the years and whether people like it or not, it will continue to change and be redefined as time goes on and people and societies change and grow.

5. Gay marriage being legal could very well preserve many families.
How common of a theme is it nowadays. A couple seems happily married for ages, they have a family they are raising and then BOOM one of them reveals the secret that's plagued them for ages, they are gay. They tried to deny it away, they tried to pray it away, they tried to ignore it away. They tried to make it go away by marrying someone of the opposite sex and making a family. If gay marriage was legal, my guess is there will be far fewer children who wake up one day to find the family they knew is no more because one of their parents was living a lie in hopes the lie would change them and they just couldn't do it anymore.

6. But what about the children!!
There are children being born to gay and lesbian people every single day. Keeping gay marriage illegal does not protect them, it leaves them vulnerable. But beyond that, conservative Christians are very protective of their rights to raise their children as they see fit. This right also applies to gay couples as well. And there are plenty of straight parents who raise kids in enviroments that Conservative Christian's don't approve of either, but I don't see them trying to limit any heterosexuals ability to parent, even the ones that live lives they disapprove of morally.

7. Gay marriage being illegal does not make gay people go away or make them less gay.
There will always be gay people in society. You cannot make them go away. It has been a constant through history and around the globe, even in places where it's a crime punishable by death there are people who may not share this, but self identify as gay. It's present in the animal kingdom extensively. Gay people will still be engaging in the behavior you disapprove of if you are CC no matter if gay marriage stays illegal or not. They will form partnerships when they meet someone they fall in love with and they will live their lives just as if they were married..... except they will be denied the legal rights and protections afforded their straight neighbors. Keeping gay marriage illegal will not change this one iota. Saying "Marriage is for one man and one woman" makes as much sense as saying "falling in love is for one man and one woman" or "making a house and home together is for one man and one woman" or "raising a child is for one man and one woman".

If there is ONE thing I hope you take away from this post it is this To be tolerant of gay marriage is to be in support of freedom for everyone. It is that simple. There are many freedoms you would not ever support legislating away from others, even though you don't approve of them, you teach your kids you feel they are wrong and you would not engage in them yourself. That's how I want Conservative Christians to look at gay marriage. You don't have to approve of it or teach your kids it's right or moral, you just have to recognize that living in a free society, a truly free society, means we don't get to choose the moral code our neighbors must live by anymore then they get to choose our moral code for us. Supporting Gay Marriage equals supporting freedom for us ALL!!!